THE .COM MEMOIRS

When I look back at my life as a software engineer, I see that it was always the life outside the office which was funny. The lone nights in Thiruvanmiyur batch, hearing the waves, gazing at the stars and envying at the couples were a part of daily life. The monthly budget sessions in my room when we divide the expenses where as chaotic as a Parliament session, but much much more funny. Most nights, I go over to see Ajith and Fatah and usually every time the discussion winds up in how we all got stuck in the software field. (Good to see that all three of us escaped from that.) In spite of all these, there were a lot of occasions worth remembering in my professional life and here I am sharing five such occasions. It’s been 9 months since I wrote a complete story. I started with a lot of plots but never managed to finish any. Let’s see if I can finish writing this. With imagination a surplus unnecessary quantity while writing memoirs, I hope my lack of the same won’t hinder the writing.

By the way, this doesn’t come with the usual disclaimer because the stories are indeed real as are the names of the characters.


1. THE SPIRIT OF WORKING IN COGNIZANT
During our training days in Cognizant Academy, our favorite teacher was Uma madam who taught us C#. We all liked her very much due to her pleasing nature and good teaching abilities. The Academy is not much different from a strict college. You can’t come late; you can’t make any noise... One evening I, Ajith and Fatah was window shopping in Odyssey gift shop. We turned our heads hearing the sweet but high pitched voice of a little girl and saw Uma madam with her two small kids. We started talking and the kids were getting bored. The eldest of them then asked, “Amma, who are these people?” We were starting to tell her that we are the students of her mom. But Uma madam replied, “These guys work with me in my office, dear.” We never expected such an answer. We had heard that once you start working in Cognizant, you should call even the CEO with his first name without prefixing ‘sir’, all are treated equal etc... Here we got a practical demonstration of such a socialist spirit kindled by a capitalist company.


2. THE CHEERLEADER
During Academy days, the morning break was for just 10 minutes. But the mallus in my batch ‘unionised’ as usual and started entering back only after 20 minutes. We used to enjoy slowly eating a Veg Sandwich during that time. That was our breakfast because unlike Tamil people we all stay in flats and were lazy to cook breakfast and lunch. One such day, while we were having our sandwich and cracking jokes an unshaved man with a travel bag in his shoulder, wearing an old worn-out unclear cognizant ID tag came to us and started talking to us. The actual break time was over and we were the only people out there. If any higher officials or even our batch in-charge saw us outside at that time, we would have got a mouthful of bashing and maybe even more. Thankfully, this guy seemed to be cool. He said that the coming weekend, there is a cricket competition of Cognizant employees and he invited us to come and see it. After making sure that we all agreed to come, he moved on. It was only months later that we realized that the person we met was the Vice President of Cognizant.


3. WHAT NOT TO DO DURING APPRAISALS AND REVIEWS
Right from school days, we were taught to be humble. In that spirit, whenever someone from onsite congratulated me for some good work, I used to say like, “nah, I just did my duty.” I knew that my team leader was a very busy man. So like any good employee, I preferred not to let him know the difficulties of my job since he has his own worries. I managed to solve a lot of complex issues without the guidance of my team leader. Two months into the job, it was my first ‘review’ by team leader.

TL: So Arun, how do you feel about your job?
ME: (Thinking that if I talk about the overwork and overtime he may think that I am not fit for the job...) Well, I am very happy with the job. I am getting an opportunity to work in lot of different technologies. I find it interesting.
TL: You know what, you are having an easy time. All of us are having a very hard job and you are having it very easy. You have a lot of potential and you are not using it fully. You are leaving everyday at 9PM. It seems you are just idling and taking lot of extra time. Tomorrow onwards, I want you to finish your work by 7PM and then come to me. I can then share some of my workload with you.

It was then that I realized that this field is not suitable for humble people.


4. HOW NOT TO CONGRATULATE A GIRL
In our client account we have a weekly bulk email sent to all the employees working for that client. The mail was sent from a group mail id. It features an employee every week, listing his/her hobbies, personal details, photo etc. One day, it was the turn of a cute girl sitting just next to me. I really liked her photo in that and I wanted to congratulate her. But it was a very hectic day and I didn’t get any time to talk to her. At 8.30PM she left. I became free only by 9PM and the last bus for my place leaves on 9.15PM. I checked my mails for one last time and this photo of her again came to my notice. I thought I shouldn’t leave without commenting how beautiful she looked in that. Time was running short. I pressed reply and typed, “Hey, you look great in this pic.” My mind was under the illusion that since it was her pic, the mail was from her. Any sane person would have noticed that it was the group mail id mentioned in the ‘To’ field. But it seems I was not that sane at that time. I pressed ‘send’ and at the same time realized my mistake. I screamed, literally grabbed and dragged my mentor from her terminal to mine and asked her how to recall the email. She did that, but by then most of the mails were delivered. Next morning hundreds of employees started their work reading my comment about the girl’s picture. What is more remarkable is the way she reacted to all this. If it was some girl from Kerala, she would have shouted at me and hurled abuses for acting in such a stupid way. But she talked like an angel. When I called her the same night and explained everything to her she said, “Whatever happened has happened. It is just an accident na. It is okay. No problem.”


5. AN EMERGENCY
It was nearing month end and as like other people, my bank account too was running low. My teammate suddenly rushed in and said, “Da Arun, can you please give me Rs. 8000. It is an emergency.” I asked her what is the emergency and she just kept repeating that it is an emergency and that she needs the money badly. I really liked to help her. But my balance was just about 9000 and I won’t survive if I give her 8000 from that. So I sadly refused. My conscience kept pricking at me that day for not helping her in an emergency. On the 2nd of next month, she came to the office with a totally new look by getting her hair straightened. She looked more beautiful in this new style and I asked her how much did it cost her for doing this and she replied, “8000 Rupees.”