Two days holiday due to pongal, that too, a Monday and Tuesday. That makes it a small vacation of four days. What should we do? Go Home? NOOOOO WAY! We just joined on dec 21st. Then Cognizant sent us back saying that classes start on Jan 2nd only. When we returned, and said we have 10 days holiday, most people thought it as weird and they aired their opinion too.
Friend: ‘da nee avide poyi valla prasnavaum undakkiyo? Ninne avaru purathakkiyathono?’ (Those who dont know malayalam, contact your nearest mallu :-))
Neighbour: ‘ninne avaru pattikkyallallo? Njan cap geminiyil refer cheythu tharano?’
Cousin: ‘leave the company yaar. Join merchant navy.’ …
So I can already visualize the situation if I retured on pongal too, just a few days after my classes started.
Neighbor aunty to another neighbor aunty: ‘Sreedevide monte karyathil entho prasnamundu. Cognizantil join cheythunnum paranjalle poyathu. Join cheytha udane pathu divasam holidaysannum paranju vannu. Ippo da pongalnum paranju veendum vannirikkunu’
The other neighbor aunty: ‘Sheriyatto. Nammde doctorde molum cognizantilalle, chennayil thanne. Aa kutti randu masam koodumbola onnu varanathu thane. Athum oru divasathekku’
Neighbor aunty: ‘avanu joliyonnum kittitundavilla. Allengil trainingile valla examinum thottittu avane purathakkithavum’ … (For all the non mallus, you will be confused why other people gossip about us. Welcome to kerala. Here gossips and rumors run faster than electricity does on kseb lines. Oops, electricity in kseb lines! The probablility of that happening is matter for another post. Maybe some other day.)
Thus we, the cognizant mallus at thiruvanmiyur decided not to go home. The next thing to be decided was what we are going to do in Chennai for four days. It was time to chase the fantasies we weaved in college. To roam with beautiful girls. Beautiful girls! Now that was a concern because that specific genre of species is so rare and most of them are, (sorry, no offence meant on the oncoming word) booked :-(. So what to do? We changed our requirement from ‘beautiful girls’ to ‘girls’. So we started calling all girls we know, including our earlier college mates, present colleagues in cognizant, so and so. Some of them tried even an old school friend who is now in Chennai (y u r staring at me. Ok. I admit. It was me). Now lets have a quick look at the phone conversations that happened then.
Smitha: ‘Sorry da. Ente cousin (read boyfriend) nale ivide varunundu. Appo pinne nale njan engana ninte aduthu varua.’
Meenu: ‘Oh shit (did she mean me??)! You could have called earlier. Me and my roommies have already booked tickets for tomorrow to see tzp’ (biggest lie coz I know she already saw tzp and said she didn’t like it)
Keerthi: ‘I m sorry da. I m not physically well. I cant tell u wat. But u understand the problem na’ (I understand it damned. The same excuse she gave last Friday too when I called her for a film. How can she have it twice in two weeks :-0 )
Things almost similar were happening to my other friends too. So finally we found out that no girl was ready to come with us. (somewhere in the background a sad drama tune plays.) Anyway, leave it. Let all the boys rock it together. Thiruvanmiyur beach, we the cognizant mallus, sorry, I mean the cognizant (single) mallus are coming…
DAY 1
We slept till 2, had food and after that went out, to thiruvanmiyur beach. But bad news yaar. Every where we look, we see couples and couples only. We tried to keep up with the malayali tradition of ‘vaynottam’. But whenever we see a couple we gets depressed. So overall the day was wasted. We decided there was something wrong in our life. We need help, from God. Thus we charted plans for next day. Over to Santhome church.
DAY 2
Our desire was to reach Santhome at 10.30am, just on time to attend the Malayalam mass. We being professional and punctual IT employees, managed to reach there at 11.30. Just after 5 minutes of hearing the mass, the non Christians among us couldn’t stand it (Our admiration for our Christian friends grew. How they suffer this every week). We left them and went to the back of the church to the beach. There we found out that we were not the only people who escaped from the church. After playing sometime, we went back to the church. While sitting infront of St. Thomas tomb, someone said that when we are coming there for the first time, we can have three wishes that will be fulfilled. Some of us were so busy shortlisting three wishes that we spend about 1 hour just thinking what should we wish.
X: ‘Did u guys see this superb shoes. How streamlined it is. How stylish’
Us: ‘No da. It looks so foolish.’
X: ‘Ey ey, u people are not at all updated about latest fashion. This is now used by film actors like SRK’
Us: ‘Look at its cost da. 8000 bucks. Its not worth it yaar’
X: ‘U unfashionable people. U people never change. Watch it guys. When I get my first salary, I will buy it and wear it. Then you all will exclaim and saw wowwww’
Just then, the salesperson at the shop came to us: ‘Excuse me sir, this is ladies’ shoes. Shall I gift pack it for you?’
Then we decided to let the dream of X be fulfilled and we all said ‘WOWWWWW’.
DAY 3
We found out that the restroom inside Sathyam theatre was more clean and beautiful than our own bedroom. But the film (Halla Bol) offered no justification for our 120 Rs ticket. How can we get the most out of the cash then? Since we can’t change what’s going on in the screen, we diverted our attention to things happening around us. We started to look at back first. A northy couple was there.
Gal: ‘Rahul, move ur hands away from my pants. All people r staring at us’
Guy: ‘First move that popcorn packet from ur pants dear’
Gal: ‘Oops, I thought…’ (We too :-))
Then we changed attention to our left where a beautiful couple was sitting. Whats the way to act decent but pass comments in an undecent way? We started commenting in Malayalam. (For the sake of censorship, I am not going to write here what we said.) Finally we heard the girl telling ‘Evidem undavum, oru paniyum illathe kore vaynokkikal.’ A scream automatically came out from all of us, ‘ayyo, malayali aayirunno!!’
Meanwhile in our right side. (For guys from north India, pls don’t kill me after reading this. I have tried my maximum to reconstruct the hindi conversation)
Gal: ‘Bholo tum muje pyaar karthe he ya nahin’
Guy: ‘ha’
Gal: ‘Sirf ek ha!! Bholo I LOVE YOU’
Guy: ‘arey film dekhne dho yaar’
Gal: ‘Tum I love you bholon ya nahin?’
Guy: ‘Mein kitne baar bhol chukka hoon. Ab mujhe film dekhne dho.’
Gal: ‘Acha, thum film dekho. Mein wahan us red shirtwale ke pass jaata hoon. Dekthe hoon ki who mujhe care karthe hei ya nahin.’
Guy: ‘Ok, u go then’
Gal: ‘Dekho, mein zarror jaonga aur use kiss bhi karega’
(My heart lept yaar. That red shirwaala was meeee)
Guy: ‘Acha thu jao. Sirf muje mera credit card bapus dedo’
Gal: ‘Ohhhh darling. See how well ajay devgan is acting. Lets stop chatting. We should see the film’
(Another sad climax for my dreams. Orchestra, please sing that sad tune again in the background)
DAY 4
Enough of traveling. We decided to take rest and study sql. Which to start first? We tried to sleep. But couldn’t sleep. So we tried to study sql. Then we couldn’t study but was able to sleep easily. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
That’s it for now guys and gals. Bye.
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